Dear teenage self,
Right now, you are in such a hurry to grow up. You think that life will be so much easier when you are an adult and can make your own choices and decisions. Turns out making the right choices and decisions is a lot harder than you can imagine. You do eventually get it right, but not until after you make a whole lot of bad ones.
I want you to stop and try and work out who you really are, instead of thinking you are what other people tell you you are. What other people think of you does not define you, so please stop acting that way. If you can figure this out now, it will help you so much in the future, particularly with all those aforementioned bad choices you made. You are a worthwhile person, and you do deserve to be treated with respect. You will waste so much time in bad relationships, as you don’t believe you deserve any better.
You will marry a man that doesn’t respect you, that mentally and emotionally abuses you, and it will be one of the biggest mistakes of your life. You figure it out eventually, but waste a whole lot of money on a fancy dream wedding, and it takes you a long time to put yourself back together. Please skip this period of your life – You are much better than him, and deserve more!
You are not the person you’ve been told you are. You are worthwhile, intelligent and kind. You are not unlovable. The sooner you can believe this, the sooner you will be able to move past your childhood, and start building a positive life for yourself.
It wont be possible for you to go to Uni , despite receiving great marks and getting into the course you want. You will need to move out at 18, and get a job to support yourself. Please don’t give up though. Really try to get a qualification when you can, it will open so many doors for you down the track. You will regret not pursuing it when you are older. The more responsibilities you have, the more difficult it is to do.
Another factor that contributes to those bad decisions you make is alcohol. I know you’ve just started drinking now, and it feels cool and fun. However you do some really stupid things due to being drunk over the years, that are not cool or fun at all, just downright dangerous. Trust me, so many of the regrets I have now were fuelled by alcohol.
I know you well, better than you know yourself at this age. I know you wont take any of this advice, and will always choose the hardest paths to travel. It wont be pretty. However, this time will pass. You will get out the other side. And in your darkest moments, your lowest of lows, know that you will make it. You will be loved by the most amazing man, who will see all the good in you that no one else has been able to. You will have a beautiful daughter, an amazing husband, and will at last have a real family. Hang in there. It’s going to be a rough ride, but you will get your happy ending.
Love older and wiser self. xx
What would you say to your teenage self, if you had the chance?