Today’s prompt is “Things that make you uncomfortable”.
Being a blogger is somewhat of a security blanket for me. The safety of being on the other side of a omputer screen gives me the confidence to be myself. The written word comes far more naturally than when I open my mouth and try to talk.
In real life, I am painfully shy. Meeting new people makes me so anxious. I feel small, and silly and out of place. I can’t find the right words quickly enough to flow with the conversation. Awkward silences send me into a panic. I have found since leaving the workforce and becoming a stay at home mum, these feelings have intensified. I’m out of practice talking to adults. I have nothing interesting to say.
So what happens when these two worlds collide? When The Hesitant Housewife blogger steps out from behind the computer screen and goes out in the real world?
Lately I have had the privilege to be invited to a few different blogging events. This is such a double edged sword for me. On the one hand, I really want to go. I want to meet the bloggers that I admire, and enjoy reading. I want to network, get my name out there, build my blog.
On the other hand, I’m terrified. I feel like the dorky kid in highschool. Everyone else seems to know each other, and know their place. They are all so confident. They have their phones in their hands the whole time as they madly take photos, tweet, instagram, hash tag everything. No one has heard of my blog. No one knows who I am. Anxiety twists and knots in my stomach, and I just want to retreat to the safety of my own home, and my keyboard. To my little on-line community, my comfort zone.
So what do I do? Do I stay home where I feel safe and secure? Just stand still, and watch the world pass me by, because I’m too scared? Or do I put on a brave face and have faith that it will get easier?