Not waving, drowning.

November has been a really hard month for our family.

We have been in the process of moving house, our family car died, we experienced a crisis with a family member, another family member has become quite ill.

I had further laser therapy on my eye, with the specialist admitting that it was not guaranteed to work, and could cause more damage than good.

My daughter has continued to be assessed for autism, with the final report from the psychologist next week. My impression from the last appointment is to prepare ourselves for a diagnosis.

We are exhausted, overwhelmed and anxious. Each day seems to bring a new stress. Our finances are stretched to the limit, paying double rent for the last month of our lease, and all the added costs of moving house.

I’ve had so many ideas for blog posts, but when I finally have time to myself, the urge to just lie down and close my eyes outweighs the urge to write.

We are just treading water, getting through each day.

The end is in sight, we will be completely done with the old house by the start of next week. Thanks to a very generous loan from a family member, we will have a new/old car by the end of the week. By the end of next week, we will have a better idea of what is going on with Milla, and how we can help her.

We just have to get through November, and then some of our load will lighten.

For all my moaning, there have been some happy moments in this blasted month. My husband and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary yesterday. I would be completely lost without him, he is my best friend.

I had my first post published on The Bub Hub website, so that was very exciting.

Still, the overwhelming pressure is weighing me down. It’s hard to keep my head above water, when it feels like I am drowning. I just need a moment; to catch my breath, to regroup.

It will come. Until then, I will just keep putting one foot in front of the other, doing what has to be done. Just keep walking towards the light at the end of the tunnel. xx

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